being in love...

hmmm... i have absolutely no clue how to write this one....ya, not that my other blogs are state of art or nything, still!!
the thing is I m in love...atleast it feels like it....otherwise what would u call it when u like being with someone so much so that it becomes difficult to spend time without that person...so that whenever u look at that person or hear his voice u feel grateful to God...n when that person holds ur hand u never want to let go....

but inspite of all the lovely things this love is...it's also terrifying!!!! it's terrifying coz it involves the risk factor...
when u r single,all u have to care about is what u do, what u feel, if u like pasta or not, if computer games are dumb or not...but once u fall in love, whoosh!!! suddenly it's like u r looking at world with a different set of eyes...u have to care not just about how ur day was but also about how it went for that someone special...u have to bother what to order at a restaurant...no noodles!! he doesn't like them...apple juice....yeah! he likes it....(i still don't get it!!! how can anybody like that tonic-like-taste-still-a-juice!!) it's just so different... but the funniest part is..it's not a bother...u like worrying about somebody else...u like knowing what he likes and what he doesn't...u like knowing that even if he prefers to play 'counter-strike' than talk to u, he'll still never go to bed without talking to u...
but yes! it is scary!! knowing that now somebody else has the power to hurt u if he cares to do so...to know that now ur happiness depends on somebody else a lot more than u'd prefer!! what if he finds someone else? what if he gets fed up??? what if???what if??? what if???
i don't have any answers to these what ifs... i don't know if this is the forever kind of love...
but i know one thing...i can't let it pass by!!
i can't let it go by me n not give it a chance...this is different that i m sure of!!
sometimes when i m in one of my career-first, my-bloody-life-has-a-goddamned-meaning mood.....i think, isn't it too early...in love??? for god's sake...how old i m anyway...i m too young for this...i should give this up!!
and then i pick up my phone, call him, but as soon as i hear his answering "hey", i know i can't afford to lose him...what if i never find him again...what if this is IT!! how many guys do i know who would spend an hour with me listening to me crying over every single silly bad thing that has ever happened to me since Ist standard?? how many guys would laugh with me about silliest things happening to me over the day??? how many guys can actually draw statistics about why we should remain committed???
not surprisingly, he is the only one to do that...he is the only one who doesn't mind my more than average vital capacities...who doesn't mind that not tiniest bit tech savvy...who doesn't mind my being me!! THE me!!
hmm...being in love is tough and confusing!!!
most of all, being in love is scary....but when i m scared i just give him a call... and he says "hey, i missed u shweetie"!! and at that moment, I know....life couldn't be better!!!